I am so unsure of what i am feeling these days, is it the winter blues, homesickness, or just frustration that I am picking up the same toys and vacuuming the same carpet over and over again? Is this just the mundane same-ness of being a at home mom? Sometimes at the end of the day i think .....why is it that at 9:00 in the morning my patience seems to be all but gone.
Am i grieving that this will be my last baby, my last nursing child?
I feel like I am drowning, in laundry, making dinner, cleaning, and toys.
Is this what God has planned for my life...is this his purpose for me.....and that fact that I am asking it..should I be worried?
Am I feeling old due to an upcoming birthday?
Lord, Please help me to feel your purpose for my life, and feel like I am worthy to be called one of your children.
Recycling
11 years ago
5 comments:
Hang in there, girl. You've had a lot of changes in the past few months! You're a GREAT mom! It's good to talk about it though - it's healthy and makes me feel normal, too, when I have those days. I miss ya!
Dearest Rachel,
Feelings are tricky. You have gone through so much in the last year, so many changes, I'm not surprised you are feeling this way. Have you looked at the "life-stressors" scale and see your score? I bet it's off the scale. I'm almost reassured by you feeling this way. It says that you are so very normal!!! It's also kinda a "let-down" feeling after so many turbulences and in-a sense, after personal victories. You expended so much energy to get where you are,(in many respects) that feelings of confusion easily follow changing times. "Sameness" can lead to restlessness or times of being easily tempted by the enemy. Be careful, be watchful. These are the times the enemy steps in to distract. Your ability to live beyond the "sameness" moments is your strength. Keep working out at the gym-that is so wise of you!!! Keep your eyes on Jesus-that is so wise. Add something new/different to your routine that is not illegal or immoral. Maybe it is time to get the nose ring? Or think more about it/plan it, then maybe not do it???I think they are beautiful. Really tiny diamonds are beautiful. It's just food for thought. With Ben's upcoming baptism, Troy's profession of faith, your birthday today, family coming this week end, I'm not at all surprised you are feeling this way. Right before, during and right after times of spiritual strength or taking a stand for your faith...will be times of confusion or temptations to feel restless, etc. Just now, I glanced back at your title "unsure of what I am feeling..." I think you can easily say, "SURE of what I am feeling..." It may be called- spiritual warfare. The enemy would absolutely love to destroy you right now. As you and Troy take steps to make your faith more public, this is VERY NORMAL!!! I would almost wonder "what's wrong" if you weren't feeling this way. Take comfort/refuge in the Psalms of our Lord, "I will not be moved..." (I will look up later to see exact reference, as I'm tired at the moment, but think Ps. 62-but not 100% sure) Have you done much intentional scripture memory? This may be an ideal time to do some of that. Filling your mind and heart with Jesus' Word!! How refreshing!!
I continue to be so very proud of you and Troy and your wise, Godly decisions. You two are wise for your age. With that, comes extra temptations from the enemy and extra respnsibilities. Who would he love to destroy more than a young couple passionate about Jesus Christ??? You are exactly the kind of couple he would love to destroy. This time will make you stronger in Christ.
I LOVE YOU!! Keep those eyes on Jesus!! You are doing an exceptional job. A stay at home Mom is the highest of "callings" to have. It is so tempting to feel like your job doesn't matter. But that's exactly the lie the enemy wants you to believe. (that's what the world and our culture believes) Don't believe it. Again, keep those eyes focued on JESUS CHRIST!!!
I LOVE YOU!! Pray alot! I'll be praying for you!! I LOVE YOU!!
Aunt Doris
I'll call you soon!!
I understand... I read this often:
Continue On
A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life. She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother. She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband and children would make a difference.
At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated. "Is it worth it?" she often wondered. "Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?"
It was during these moments of questioning that she heard the still, small voice of her heavenly Father speak to her heart:
"You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be. Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye. But I notice. Most of what you give is done without remuneration. But I am your reward. Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without your support. Your influence upon him is greater than you think and more powerful than you will ever know. I bless him through your service and honor him through your love. Your children are precious to Me - even more precious than they are to you. I have entrusted them to your care to raise for Me. What you invest in them is an offering to Me.
"You may never be in the public spotlight. But your obedience shines as a bright light before Me.
Continue on.
Remember, you are My servant. Do all to please Me."
"And whosoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." Colossians 3:23,24 KJV
Thank You !!!!!
Okay girl! Time to update the blog... I am waiting for pictures of your big weekend... I want to hear all about it!
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