What a great reminder from Proverbs 31 ministries
"An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband." I Corinthians 7:34 (NIV)
While shopping for some nail polish remover, I stumbled upon a bottle of jewelry cleaner. As I picked it up and tossed it into my cart, I reflected on the days when I always kept jewelry cleaner so that I could keep my wedding ring sparkling and shiny. Somewhere in the rush of life, I stopped doing that, and it had been years since I polished up my very dirty, dingy diamond. When I got home, I cracked open the new bottle and put my rings in to soak overnight. The next morning, I fished them out and used the little brush to scrub away any remaining dirt. As I slipped the rings on, I couldn't believe the difference! I knew my rings were dirty but I had no idea how sparkling the cleaner would make them. All day I kept looking down at my hand to admire the way the diamond reflected the light, brilliant and shiny instead of dirty and dingy. God reminded me that my experience was a great illustration for how I have treated my marriage at times. Where once I worked hard to look nice for my husband, I often meet him after a long day in my pajamas—unshowered and unprepared to welcome him. Where once I took time to really listen to him, I let my thoughts wander when he talks, figuring I had heard it all before. Where once I looked forward to our time alone, I get in the car with a bored sigh, and a, "Where do you want to eat?" My shiny, sparkly, exciting marriage that I couldn't wait for had turned into a dirty, dingy drudgery that I forgot to take care of. As I admired my diamond that day, I thought of ways I could "clean" my marriage, restoring it to the brilliance that God desired for us:
• Taking time to at least brush my hair and put some gloss on my lipsbefore I saw my husband at the end of the day.
• Committing to regular exercise and taking care of myself, so I would feel better and look better.
• Treating him respectfully and watching both my words and my tone to him.
• Apologizing when I blow it and humbly seeking his forgiveness.
• Investing regular, consistent time into us by making the effort to plan date nights and secure a sitter.
• Really listening to him when he confides in me, not letting my thoughtswander to my to-do list.
• Spending time with him without feeling like we have to talk all the time.
• Respecting the differences in each of us, instead of fighting against them.
Of course I don't do these things perfectly every day, but I do have a renewed vision for what my marriage needs. Just like my diamond needed to be restored after neglect, so did my marriage. I can't become complacent or despondent about this most important relationship. I have to strip off the buildup of stress and busyness, scrub away any resentment or distance. When I do that, God has shown me that He will restore my marriage to its original brilliance and sparkle, reminding us both why we said "I do" all those years ago.